How to Retire in Comfort on $500

Hop a plane to a select country in Europe and be thrown in jail. You are set for life.
Free advice from the friendly folks at Exile.

What would you say if we at the eXile promised to show you how you could retire in comfort for only a few hundred dollars? No, we’re not asking you for the money. We don’t make a cent out of this. We’re not peddling a self-help book or a new religion. We’re doing this just for you, because we care about you. And our plan doesn’t take twelve steps. It’s free, it’s simple, and it’s guaranteed to work. Here it is:

Buy a plane ticket to one of the following countries: Denmark, Austria, Finland, Holland, Switzerland, or the Netherlands. Find something you can brandish in a threatening manner. It doesn’t have to be much: a broken bottle, a sharp-edged rock, or a stale baguette. Rob a bank. Just say, “This is a robbery. Give me all your money,” and wave the rock or baguette in a more or less threatening manner. Don’t hurt anybody, though.

Wait for the cops to arrive.